itsvondell:

someone is going to say “i have to go to the moon” in a bored, defeated tone one day

  • Beatrice: "O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place!"
  • Claudio in the distance, probably: "Not all men!"

chubby-punx:

My goal is to be very, very cute but also very, very spooky

deansass:

timeandrelativedimension42:

deansass:

"How much do you love Tony Stark?"

*looks at ipad named Jarvis*
*looks at phone named Dummy*
*looks at my iron man cover photo on fb*
*looks at how I made my Siri call me “Mr Stark”*
*looks at Tony Stark wallpaper*

"…. I hate Tony Stark what are you talking about?"

Isn’t this the exact same combination of self-obsession and self-loathing that defines Tony as a character?

The truth is… I AM Tony Stark.

sansaslays:

I don’t think I could ever date a good actor like he could tell me he loves me and I’d be like nah you said it much more convincingly to kate winslet try again

  • The Plan of Viserys Targaryen as I Understand It
  • Step 1: Marry sister to a powerful warlord.
  • Step 2:
  • Step 3: Become King of Westeros.

tacobelligerent:

tacobelligerent:

I STEPPED ON A FUCKING LEAF AND AT THE SAME TIME SOME KID SCREAMED I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUCKIN LEAF OMG

why do we always have to reblog my mistakes

fruitsgarden:

that was the biggest fucking overreaction im laughing so hard

nuclearnyx:

my anaconda don’t want none

unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON

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danishprince:

wickedfrypan:

A Poem for Act 1 of Hamlet:

ahh my dad’s a ghost!
ahh my dad’s a ghost!!
ahh shit my dad’s a ghost!!! 

#better than his other poetry at least

stability:

*washes face*

*checks if acne is still there*

dukeofbookingham:

theairbitesshrewdly:

i learned a palindrome today and its the best & funniest thing ive ever heard here goes:

No sir! Away! A papaya war is on!

Excellence.

caressmelouis:

when u come home from school and take ur makeup off

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